Some Insight on Marriage, one Sisters story...

During a wedding shower a friend asked if I could share some insight on marriage and how to keep it together? I started to think of what advice or words of encouragement I may say as I took the question very serious. So I spent some time thinking of what to say and I asked the Most High how does he want me to answer this question? Through prayer I thought about this long and hard and the reflections from my past failures and lessons learned came to my mind…

See I was married before for many years and I thought I understood marriage and relationships because I had read every book known to man in search of answers and I spent a lot of those years really working on my spirit so that I could be a better person and work hard so my husband would love me the way I wanted to be loved. In doing all of that I still didn’t have the love I needed and I believed at that point my husband was the one who was not willing to grow or change so when I had the scriptural grounds for divorce I ended my marriage.

Several years later I found the Truth and got baptized. Thereafter I met my husband and at the exact moment I met him I knew he was the man the Most High told me I would marry years back. We married with me knowing deep within that he was the Man I would fulfill my destiny with until the ends of time. I followed my spirit and I dedicated myself to Ahayah and my husband and together we set out to serve him.

Over time something happened, things started to feel familiar again and I was really confused and blown away and I was like why am I feeling this way walking around with an attitude, being moody and having petty fights with my husband – for this is not suppose to be happening to ME this time! Remember I was the “one” who read all the self-help books, I learned to be a better person, I had grown and most of all I married my KING! We are supposed to be happy and in love… this makes absolutely no sense! Why, Why Ahayah why???

It took a lot of time for me to be given the answers and it is only recent that I received understanding. You see it was ME the whole time; the issues had always been ME!

One thing I knew true was that my relationship with my husband was only as good as my relationship with the Most High and if I didn’t have a solid one with GOD I could not expect a good relationship with my husband. So I had to turn back to GOD for the answers but this time I wanted to search out the Most High and discover him like I had never done before. I wanted to learn about him in new more vast and broad ways. I wanted to know what he really did and create and the actual reasons why; so I started to search for him in areas I never looked before, I began studying his Works of the heavens, earth, sea, thunders and lightening, fire and water, the sun and moon, the seasons and years, the days, and hours and I was absolutely astounded! I learned how the earth was made to represent us…our flesh from the clay of earth, our blood from the dew, our eyes from the sun, our bones from stone, our hair from the grass of the earth… and my love for the Most High overwhelmed me!

I started thinking how do I honor and glorify this amazing GOD? And something said start with the Holy Days because he said follow his Laws, Statues and Commandments …, and a desire grew for me to want to observe the Holy Days in the fullest sense and so I started studying everything I could on the Holy Days; when they are to be observed, the significance of why “each” one was established… like the First fruits/Feast of Weeks in (Leviticus 23:15) which was to represent each of the four seasons Noah experienced while in the ark and how they were to be a sign to let him know when to exit the Ark and this Holy Day is observed on the exact day Noah exited the ark with his family – wow I was fascinated. From there he led me to understand other discoveries of his Power in the earth and its elements and how if he told a mountain to move so one could pass how that mountain would obey because its governed by the laws “he” created in nature and how one day we to could learn how to use the earth to obey us! Wow!

Now what does all that have to do with marriage you might ask? A lot!

My reflections on my journey led me to comprehend what marriage IS and is Not … See we are suppose to “use” the challenges, joys, struggles and celebrations of marriage to draw closer to the Most High and STOP asking of marriage what GOD never designed it to be. The truth is we can’t look for another person to complete us because spiritually speaking that is idolatry. We are to find our fulfillment and purpose in GOD. . And if we expect our spouse to be ‘GOD’ to us, they will fail every day. No person can live up to such expectations.”

Everyone has bad days, yells or is downright selfish. Despite these imperfections, GOD created the husband and wife to steer each other in His direction.

GOD did not create marriage just to give us a pleasant means of having babies and providing a nice home to raise them. He designed or should we say “created” marriage as “another” example of his existence like the examples I learned in his creation of the universe.

So today I understand that the closer I get to the Father, the more I learn of him, share with him who I am by prayer and telling him how I feel, what I need and want the “easier” it is for me to honor my husband and love him as a Man of the Most High and be a willing helper that the Most High sent me to be to him… so when my husband is tired I am his pillow, when he is weak I am made strong, and when he is worried the Most High is our comforter. So though at times I might get mad at him I be damned if I let anybody try and break his spirit.

I am his rock and soft place and the one to reinforce him to go back into the harsh elements of this world, I help lift him up. And if anyone tries to form a weapon against him I will be his Shield so that he can get away and be a King for our Nation – because that is what a Queen does.

For a wife is a relief to her husband when the winds are against him!

In closings we leave you with this quote…

 “If happiness is our primary goal, we’ll run or get a divorce as soon as happiness seems like it’s never going to be possible or we will want someone else as soon as our husbands seem less attentive… But if our marriage is to Honor the Most High and be a living example of his love in us and his creation we will be on our way to a healthier perspective of marriage and in that we can be happy!”

All praise to the Most High, Ahayah and his son Yashaya!